


I'd Rather Be Spitting Blood Than Have This Silence Fuck Me Up

by alotofphandoms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Destiel - Freeform, Fighting, Fluff, Lots of Angst, M/M, Non AU, human!Cas, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 14:39:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5378807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alotofphandoms/pseuds/alotofphandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean cheats on Castiel and Castiel gives him the silent treatment.</p><p> </p><p>lots of angst! also the fic title is from the amazing song The Quiet by Troye Sivan, check it out friends</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'd Rather Be Spitting Blood Than Have This Silence Fuck Me Up

When the now human Castiel got angry or frustrated he voiced it. He would yell at Dean and they'd argue till they were good again. When Dean got mad, he did the same and yelled. He acted on his anger and fought back. Sometimes those fights getting physical. They had had a lot of fights but they of course still loved each other and that's what made them forgive one another. They always made up in the end after they had tired themselves out from yelling or hitting each other. But this time... This time was different.

 

"Cas, I told you it was a mistake!!! You were mad at me, I was mad at you. But it's over right? I love you.." Dean pleaded as Cas stood in front of him, arms crossed, obviously trying to keep his cool. Cas glared at him. It was not over. No way, was it over. Cas and Dean had gotten into a fight about something random the night before and Dean went out and got drunk. But this time he was with someone. He had hooked up with some chick and came home smelling of sex and alcohol and her way-too-strong perfume. Castiel knew he had slept with someone and Dean didn't try and deny it; he was drunk. But now with Cas looking like he might cry and explode with angry at the same time, he felt a bit sober again. 

 

"Cas? Baby?" Dean tried, not getting any answer from the former angel. Cas had never been in a relationship. He'd never been cheated on. But now that he had been, he was hurt. He was hurt beyond a simple apology. He stared at drunk Dean for a little while longer before leaving the living room. Dean watched him, sad and hurt. Cas went into Sam's room and told him the story, asking if he'd put Dean to bed so he didn't have to. Sam sighed, wishing Cas didn't have to go through this. Dean was so messed up sometimes and Cas only ever got hurt. Cas walked out of Sam's room and into Dean and his room. He grabbed a pillow and blanket from the bed and walked right past Dean as Sam walked him into the room. 

 

"Cas?" He heard Dean whimper and his heart ached hearing Dean's voice so weak. He was sure Dean had started crying but he was to angry to go comfort him. Castiel walked into the living room and made a little bed on the couch, laying down and staring at the ceiling. It was pointless to try and get sleep but at least he could muffle the sounds of him sobbing into his pillow. He cried and cried and cried until he passed out.

 

~~~~~

 

The next morning Castiel woke up to see a plate of breakfast in front of him and heard someone making noises in the kitchen. It was most defiantly Dean as he would always make Cas breakfast even after a fight. Cas didn't want this food though, made by a man who slept with someone else last night. He sat up, cracking his back and stretching from sleeping on the uncomfortable couch. As he was about to stand he heard footsteps come to him.

 

"Do you need anything?" Dean asked, looking down at him with sparkling green and hopeful eyes. Cas blinked at him before turning and leaving the room, heading for the bathroom. He couldn't stand being in Dean's presence right now and he sure as hell didn't want to speak to him. Right now all Cas needed was some space and time to think about what to do. He had never been in a relationship before but Dean was all he ever wanted. He doesn't look at anyone in the entire universe the way he looks at Dean and he knows that that's special. But Dean hurts him. They fight and argue and Dean cheated. He'd seen in the movies that the girl never takes the cheater back. But wasn't Dean different? Under the showerhead Cas thought deeply about how much Dean means to him. How he can't live without him. Cas was sure he needed Dean. But did Dean even need him? A tear sprung to Castiel's eye as he thought about it. Did Dean even want Cas around? Did he need him to be there for him? No. Dean can do every little thing by himself, for himself. Cas thought about it more, thinking to himself that he was useless, and worthless. Dean didn't need him. Why was he even still bothering him with his existence?

 

Cas quickly dried off, tears still falling down his face and he went to his room, pulling on his clothes. He sat on the bed for a minute, thinking about everything to hard. Should he just leave? Should he go and never come back so Dean doesn't have to be bothered or tied down by him? Tears fell faster the more he thought and he didn't notice Dean walk in. Dean stopped in his tracks when he saw his angel crying. 

 

"Cas?" He whispered. Cas didn't seem to hear him so he stepped closer and spoke up. "Cas? Baby?" Cas jumped, looking up to see Dean, quickly rubbing his eyes. "Wha-Why are you crying?"

 

"Go away Dean.." Cas whimpered. Dean backed up a bit, not wanting to hurt the angel's feelings anymore.

 

"Alright..." Dean began to leave but as soon as the door shut, the cries became louder. Dean opened the door again and walked in, pulling Castiel up off the bed and hugging him softly, letting him cry on his shoulder. Castiel stood there for a second before pushing away and walking out the door. Dean's eyes began to sting as tears came back. He hated this. This abandonment crap and being ignored. He'd never admit to it but that's always been what he most of afraid of; people leaving him. Everyone already has, except Sammy and Cas. But having Cas, his only true love, ignore him like this is wearing thin on Dean's emotions. Dean knows he fucked up but he can't lose Cas. Castiel is the best thing in his life right now and he needs him; he needs him so bad. Tears fell down his face as he stared at the ground, feeling so alone and abandoned. All he wanted was to talk to Cas, to make him stay. He'd rather be getting punched in the face by him right now then have Cas ignore him. Footsteps got closer to the room again and Dean didn't look up until the footsteps were walking around the room. 

 

Dean looked up to see Castiel with a duffle bag in his hand. He was opening the drawers and pulling clothing and other things out and stuffing it into the bag. Dean realized what was happening and immediately began crying harder. "No no no no no no, Cas?! Cas, what are you doing?" Dean whimpered, going to the bag and pulling the clothing out.

 

"I'm leaving." Cas squeaked out and Dean felt his heart break and sink to his stomach.

 

"Please, Cas you can't leave. I need you Cas. I can't live without you next me!" He pleaded, trying to catch Cas' eye line as he went back and forth from the dresser to the bag.

 

"I'm sure you'll get by." Cas whimpered again, tears falling down his face as he barely let out the sound.

 

"No!" Dean shouted, making Cas jump and drop all the possessions in his arms. "I can't live without Cas! I need you! I need you so much and no doubt in my mind tells me I couldn't get by without you!" He shouted, not going to let Cas leave him.

 

"Dean?" Cas whispered, looking down at his feet.

 

"Yeah, Cas?" Dean asked, voice softer, stepping closer.

 

"I love you.." Cas whimpered out. "But we can't keep arguing like this. You can't ever go out and cheat on me again. Because the second you do, I'm leaving."

 

"Cas," Dean breathed out, pulling his love into a tight hug. "I love you so much, I'm so sorry! I promise I'll never leave your sight again and I'll never try and fight with you. I'll make sure we never ever have a fight again." Dean rambled as he held Cas close. Dean pulled away slightly so he could look at Cas in his bright blue eyes. "Just please... Don't leave me alone. Don't leave me at all." Dean pleaded, eyes glossy with tears.

 

"I'll never leave you Dean." Cas told him, a small smile on his lips. "I love you." Dean breathed out a sigh of relief and rested his forehead against his boyfriend's.

 

"I love you too Cas... even if you are sometimes a three year old who gives me the silent treatment." Dean giggled out breathily and Cas copies, smiling at the feeling of Dean's breath on his face. He leans up and kisses Dean softly, smiling up at him. Cas felt needed, and that was all he could ever want; and Dean didn't feel so lonely anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> if you think i should put a trigger warning on this then tell me in the comments, i'm not sure yet if I should


End file.
